Researchers from Tufts, Wake Forest, Columbia, and Stanford universities asked hundreds of people to think about their lives and to write down either a major or minor secret. Afterward, those people who wrote down big secrets—such as marital infidelities or uncommon sexual desires—estimated hills to be steeper, judged distances to be farther, and believed physical tasks would require more effort than people who had recalled minor secrets. Your iPod’s Secret Healing Powers Why? You use language like carry around, keep, and unload to describe secrets because your mind regards them as psychological burdens, says study author Michael Slepian, a doctoral student at Tufts. And because your mind tells itself your secrets are weighing you down, that psychological weight colors your perceptions of physical tasks. The bigger the secret, the bigger the burden, he says. How can you shrug off that burden? Dump your psychological load, Slepian advises. The obvious way to go about this is to reveal your secret. Of course, if it were that easy, you probably wouldn’t be keeping it in the first place. Clear Your Mind Instantly Another option is to reassess why you feel so compelled to share your secret in the first place, says Guy Blews, a relationship expert and author of Realistic Relationships. Changing the way you think about a secret can lighten the psychological burden, he explains. Use the following tips to solve two common secret-keeping dilemmas: Skeletons in your relationship closet. Blews has a favorite saying: “Don’t drag your past into my present.” He says we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. But sharing every detail of your past is not the key to a strong relationship. “Be economical with the truth,” Blews says. “If it’s not going to affect the person you’re with, they don’t need to know about it.” Workplace secrets. “If not speaking up could compromise your boss or the company, you need to come clean,” Blews advises. “But if it’s about your personal life, even if it involves a coworker, then your boss doesn’t really need to know,” he says.
