Researchers looked at focus groups of 45 men and women and questioned them on the importance of orgasm during intercourse. One finding probably won’t surprise you—that a guy’s own orgasm was key to him enjoying sex. But men also said a woman’s orgasm is one of the “most sexually satisfying experiences men could have.” When a woman didn’t climax, men said it was “distressing,” especially if they were in a relationship. Why the ego damage? “Men feel they have the physical responsibility to stimulate their female partner to orgasm. If it doesn’t happen, then men may begin to question their sexual prowess,” says study coauthor Claire Salisbury, MSc, a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology at Western University in Ontario. The men in the study were college-age, but Salisbury says middle-aged men may have a different perspective on orgasm. She says that because older men may have experienced long-term relationships where there’s more likely to be sexual communication, their expectations for sex may be more realistic. While some women consider the big O extremely important, the majority of the women in the study said that their sexual satisfaction wasn’t totally dependent on it. “Having a better understanding of a partner’s sexual reality will help heighten the sexual experience in the long run,” Salisbury says. Together, you can then figure out techniques he can use to help you get there, and it may help take the pressure off. That alone might lead to better and more orgasms, she says. One thing you shouldn’t do: fake an orgasm. Doing this doesn’t spare his feelings—it puts up a barrier of communication between you and your partner that definitely won’t improve your sexual compatibility. More on Prevention:3 Tips To Jump-Start Your Libido
