As a card-carrying member of the club, I get why you punctual peeps give us the wrong meeting time and roll your eyes when we do finally arrive, but there are a few things you don’t know about us. It’s time to set the record straight. (Want to pick up some healthier habits? Sign up to get healthy living tips, weight loss inspiration, slimming recipes and more delivered straight to your inbox!)
We don’t think our time is more important than yours—we just have trouble managing it.
There are loads of reasons why we’re late, but being a jerk isn’t one of them. “I try to fit too many things in,” says Maggie, who can be running anywhere from two minutes to two hours behind. “I think there’s always time to do X, Y, or Z until there is no time left and I’m rushing out the door.” Dan can relate: “My desire to get all I want to do in a day holds me up, as does believing I can get somewhere faster than I can.” Science backs up all of the above. Research says people prone to being late are more likely to be multitaskers, find it easier to get focused under pressure, and are really lousy at estimating how long things take. Guilty as charged! (Don’t panic just yet—there’s also a major upside to multitasking.)
Having you harp on our tardiness won’t speed us up. (If anything, it will slow us down.)
“It makes me feel a little whimsical,” says Morgan on being labeled the “late” friend, but she says that chastising her is never motivating. In fact, locking people into labels and constantly pointing out our unpunctuality could create a self-fulfilling prophecy. It proves you right when we’re late and gives us permission, in a sense, to run a little behind. (If a friendship is causing you more harm than good, it might be time to call it quits. Here’s how.) “I had a team once who always had a bet on whether I’d take our 9 AM staff meeting from the car or come running up the stairs,” says Lorene. Instead of making her feel shame, though, the inside joke perpetuated her habit. MORE: 10 Simple Ways To Prevent Job Burnout
We get annoyed with ourselves too.
Yes, it’s infuriating when someone makes you wait—and also infuriating when you do everything in your power to get out the door in time and fail. We know it’s our fault (and traffic), but a combination of good intentions and poor execution (aka failing to factor in time for traffic) can leave us disappointed in ourselves. “I get mad at myself for it because I do it all the time; it’s a habit,” says Lorene. Julie does the same thing: “I’m not sitting in traffic calmly. I’m cursing under my breath the whole way.” (Beat morning traffic and stress by biking to work with these tips.)
That frazzled feeling of being late is no fun.
Your stomach in your throat. Heart pounding. Anxious. Agitated. More often than not, that’s how we arrive—and it’s the worst. Lorene has flashbacks of flying into work with her briefcase, purse, a cup of coffee, keys and phone in her hand and often some kind of papers too (not in briefcase), hair crazy wild—although she’s recently gotten a little better. For Maggie, that harried hangover doesn’t stop once she punches in; it can follow her around all day. (These 5 daily habits can make your anxiety worse.) And while job tardiness brings with it the threat of being fired, that panicked feeling also ensues when facing the threat of possibly missing a flight (Dan), the discomfort of arriving three hours late to a baby shower (Morgan), and the annoyed glares from your kids being the last ones picked up (Lorene). It all pretty much sucks. Try this soothing yoga pose to relieve stress:
Texting is our saving grace.
“Sorryyyyyyy b there soon!” “Argh! Stuck in traffic.” “Almost there…. Promise!” We know texting wasn’t invented for us, but it sure feels like it sometimes. Sending a quick “running late” message buys us time, takes the pressure off, and acts as a pre-apology. “Texting makes it so much easier,” agrees Morgan. “You can just let them know ahead of time and if you’re meeting someone, and they can be late too!” MORE: 7 Habits Of Superproductive People
It’s super annoying when you show up early.
Punctuals, we have a beef with you too. We’ve always been too polite to point it out, but here it is: Showing up early is just plain rude. So when we throw a party that starts at 7 PM, don’t show up at 6:45 with some lame excuse about traffic being so smooth. You’re cutting into our shower-makeup-hair time, plus it’s pretty tough for us to properly enjoy the rush of the last-minute sprint when you’re standing there looking all grounded and put together. So thank you for the artfully decorated cupcakes (Where do you find the time?), but please, please, please arrive promptly (or late!) to our next shindig. (Here’s how prompt, punctual people manage to never be late.)
There are legit perks to being late.
OK, so we’ve missed appointments, run out of gas, and ticked off a lot of people—but there are upsides to being less-than-punctual. “In some social situations, being late is a good thing,” says Maggie, who considers being a little late to a dinner party being “right on time!” Morgan agrees: “You can miss the weird tension of standing around while the host is still setting things up.” For Dan, the biggest benefit is more time in his day doing exactly what he wants, while it’s taught Lorene how to adapt quickly. “I’ve learned to think on my feet and that I can get through most anything,” she says. Oh, and twice she’s been upgraded to first class—not that we condone missing flights. MORE: 15 Secrets Every Pilot Knows—And You Should, Too
We won’t judge you when you’re late.
Get off your on-time high horse, because there will be a time when you’re not on time. It happens: Flights get delayed, appointments run over, elevators get stuck, and don’t even get us started on traffic. And when you arrive in that frazzled state full of apologies, you won’t get an eye roll from us. Maybe just a knowing smirk. PREVENTION PREMIUM: 5 Myths About Stress You Need To Stop Believing
